Men take 5x longer in the bathroom “pooping” than women. This is a fact. I have done much research. Which is asking my friends “how long does your husband take to take a shit?” answers range from “half an hour” to “for fucking ever.”
I like most women, have wondered what the fuck they are doing in there. Like why would someone voluntarily sit in a room that smells that bad?
After observing my husband change diapers, I know what they are doing for at least 10 minutes while they are in the crapper.
They are wiping themselves.
One day after sending my husband to change a poop diaper I realized he had been in there 5 minutes. I was like seriously? Does he need assistance? Is this a joke?
And I walk by and he’s wiping her. Walk by 5 minutes later. Still wiping. What the actual fuck?
So I ask him about it, he says he has to make sure he got in all the nooks and crannies. (Direct quote).
He was very thorough. So my very scientific hypothesis is that he is just as thorough with his own nooks and crannies.
I still have no idea what is happening those other 30 minutes, but 10 minutes of wiping are accounted for.